Uncategorized, writing

Don’t Sell Your Saddle

Graphic.jpgEarlier this month, I went legit and officially created my own business, Dirt Road Wife Photography LLC.  I have an tax ID number, official looking paperwork from the Secretary of State and a business checking account.  Heck, I’ve even got business cards.

Except sometimes I don’t feel legit as a photographer.

I will encounter a new situation and don’t know exactly how to tackle it in the moment.  Or I get home, start editing my images and am crestfallen because what felt good in the moment and looked good on my LCD screen isn’t wowing me after the fact.

Sometimes, it’s other photographers who undermine my self-confidence.  Long-time pros who make snarky remarks about all the wannabe mom-tographers devaluing the industry and undermine their pricing.

“Is that what I’m doing?” I ask myself.  “Pretending to be a photographer?  Am I a joke?”

I compare my work to the work of the professionals I admire and it feels woefully inadequate.  Tara Bolgiano, Janelle Rose, Cassie Madden…real women, wonderful people and phenomenal photographers who seem to ooze beautiful images and confidence out their pores.  And I work and practice and study, but I still can’t quite get there…

Those are the days I think about selling my saddle.

It would be easy to quit.  Walk away.  I’ve had different offers for work, who’s to know I chose it over my secret goal of being a professional photographer?

I would.  I would know that I took the easy way out.  That I was afraid to grow, to risk.  And I would regret it.

So I’m going to tackle this new goal like the others I’ve set for myself.  I’m going to continue to work and study and practice.  I’m going to hustle.  Maybe I’ll get there, maybe I won’t.  But I do know I’ll never ride that horse to the finish line if I sell my saddle now.

 

Teresa

*”Don’t Sell Your Saddle” is a poem written by Don Bilup.  The above photo is mine, copyright Dirt Road Wife Photography LLC.

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nature, photography, Uncategorized, weather, writing

And Mother Nature Taketh Away

Goshen County Light Show CRThis summer, we’ve been enjoying the bounty from the garden we planted.  All that came to a crashing halt last night as our area was hit with a massive storm that included winds, hail, heavy rains, more hail and lightning.

Our garden is almost a total loss and my flowers I keep along the house are no more.   Our yard was littered with dead birds, toads and even some rabbits. Fortunately, we didn’t sustain any real property damage.  Our friends and neighbors weren’t so lucky.  Just a half-mile down the road, one neighbor had his corn destroyed.  Another lost all the north facing windows in his house.  The talk all over the county fair today was about crop loss, broken windows and praying today’s storms give us a break.

About 45 miles due south of here, weather completely devastated the town of Pine Bluffs with a massive hail storm.  Golf ball-sized hail destroyed almost every window in every house and car in town.  On the level, 36 inches of collected hail was recorded.  It looked like Christmas in July, the stuff was so thick.

After the storm rolled over us, I tried my hand at some lightning photography.  Even seeing the storm from a distance was awe-inspiring.  The raw, unrelenting power of nature left me gobsmacked.  Lightning popped and crackleded in the distance, thunder rumbled into the void and I was left feeling how truly very infinitesimally small I am in this amazing universe we call home.

Wyokiddo was pretty bummed today as we surveyed the damage to our garden.  “No more vegetables?  But we worked so hard!” she wailed as we picked up tree limbs.

I was heartsick about our garden, too.  But it is just a garden.  It was not us, or our home or our livelihood that was destroyed.  I tried to use the opportunity to teach my little girl about toughness and gratitude.  So we talked about how we can be sad we lost our lovely garden, but we should also be thankful that we are safe and so are our friends and neighbors.

“But why did the storm want to wreck our garden and flowers?  That’s not nice!” she told me, stomping her foot in frustration.  It was all I could do not to laugh at her outrage.

“That’s just how life works.  Bad things happen like storms.  And we can be sad when our things get wrecked.  But good things happen, too,” I told her.  “It makes the good times just that much more fun!”

“Like the carnival.  That’s fun!  I can’t wait to go tomorrow!”

And with that, she was all smiles and giggles thinking about our upcoming trip to the carnival tomorrow.

Mother Nature giveth, and she taketh away.  All we can really do is enjoy the former, weather the latter and remember better times at the carnival are just around the corner.

Teresa